Wrecker (2015)

Very much a redux/tribute to the classic Spielberg 1971 film "Duel" - two girls on a road trip are suddenly, without motivation, threatened by a wrecking truck that follows them across the wastelands.

It's a simple film, but not without it's charm. I do like the way that it stays faithful to Duel in so much as you don't get to see who is behind the wheel of the big bad truck - therefore making it mysterious, and the attacks are without reason. Just pure senseless terrorising.

Summed up, there's not much more to this than the visual aspect, but there really doesn't need to be. And that's just fine.

6/10 Masks

The Diabolical (2015)

While not groundbreaking territory, The Diabolical is one of those films that has to be admired for its sense of mystery, suspense and above all - trying to create an original concept.

In a market flooded by cookie-cutter found footage, when something a bit different comes along it's sometimes hard to know which way to receive it.

Ali Larter stars as a mother looking after her two children - the family is haunted by three nightmarish ghosts that appear at random intervals round the house and generally go round being all scary until they vanish again. One of which is a mutilated, charred corpse that drags itself around on its stumps. That one's my favourite.

It seems that the family has on the most part learned to see this as just some sort of inconvenience in their day to day and react by either ignoring them until they go away, or fighting them. However, when they engage the spooks, that's when things start to take a turn for the worse.

Now, there is a twist, and some substance to the plot. In fact it's either a great plot or one that will have you groaning.

Not mind blowing but by no means a bad movie - not your typical scare-fest.

5/10 Masks

Visions (2015)

Right, I'll get to the film in a minute - but please people, casting choices! It was bad enough seeing Jay from Inbetweeners in The Pyramid but casting Jim Parsons in a horror? Sheldon Cooper! BAZINGA! It's all you can think about.

Right - so for a movie it's a bit like something M Night Shyamalan forgot to write. Isla Fisher moves to a house and starts experiencing all these visions, she believes that the place is haunted, all her friends believe that she's lost it.

Turns out that the previous occupants of the house had the same experiences, which she then starts to investigate, driving everyone mad at the same time.

There's a reason - no spoilers.

OK, so it's not a bad concept in the slightest, they've tried to do something a bit different and for the most part it works.

Big budget, bit too polished but worth a watch on a rainy day.

5/10 Masks

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

The only thing missing from The Ghost Dimension is the ghost of the dead horse that this somehow still very popular found footage franchise is flogging.

This at least concludes the bunch....maybe. Probably not, they'll probably find another take, cave paintings or viewfinders or something.

What annoys me is the amount of dumb people in these films that seem to keep finding video cameras or projectors just laying around the place...constantly.

The Ghost Dimension goes one step further and sometimes even seems to forget who the "third person" filming the damn thing is!

Maybe it's a ghost, who knows.

Anyway in this film, some soon-to-be-dead numbskull finds ANOTHER video camera but this one can film the ghost dimension, he also finds tapes from one of the older films (they all blend into one in the end) of the two sisters and their mentor.

There's some spooky stuff, ghosts and that, things go "rah-boo!" In fact this one has the greatest number of jump-scares but other than that it's just.....these films, give up already!

3/10 Masks

"As soon as I see it's one of those f***ing found footage films I turn it off"

Ash vs The Evil Dead (TV 2015)

I don't like a lot of re-boots or making a TV show from a beloved movie franchise. Seems TV has been proving me wrong, first with the Scream TV show and now this...Ash vs The Evil Dead.

Three words, and they're all "WOW!".

The debut of this last night sees Bruce Campbell and Sam Rami team up to have Ash, 30 years on and all but washed up, once again haunted by the evil dead all because he decided to read a bit of the Necronomicon in order to impress a girl.

Not going to drop any spoilers in here but just....amazing. I hope the rest of the show keeps up this high bar from the pilot.

Mercy (2015)

Not to be confused with the 2014 Stephen King film, Mercy is a indy short by Canadian couple Jodi & Victor Cooper that follows serial killer Mercy Noble.

For a low-budget short, Mercy really is a fine piece of art, ironically so as Mercy Noble is known as "The Artist".

She realises that in the small town she lives there are a lot of depressed people who are considering suicide. Using a website where these people share their thoughts she tracks them down and helps them along to their final resting place.

Afterwards she paints a grizzly scenario in their blood. Hence, The Artist.

For such a short piece there is a lot to take out of it. I for one watched it twice in a row and still there are unanswered questions - which is why I found this such a great short and describe it, in itself as "art".

Kirsten Wight as Mercy Noble is the true star and I would not be surprised to see her again after this, as both anti-hero and posthumous narrator of Mercy she glides into the role like she was born for it.

Well put together and well thought out, although filled with glorious brutal violence it begs more of you than just enjoying the gore. I would love to see this team continue in the same vein.

8/10 Masks

The Sand (2015)

The floor is lava? Remember that game? Jumping from sofa to chair to bed to the cat because "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!"

OK, that's basically what The Sand is - a big game of Off-Ground Touch.

The premise, not bad and straight into B-Movie land. A group of scantily clad teens are on a beach, if they touch the sand they die....something about aliens that eat flesh or some what-not.

The saving grace(s) of this movie are:

•  That it starts off looking like a "found footage" but it isn't. 
• There are boobs. 
• There is a fat bloke with a crudely drawn wang on his face.

Sadly that all happens in the first ten minutes leaving you the rest of this stinker. Sequel? Kick The Can? What's The Time Mr.Wolf (with a werewolf!)?

2/10 Masks.

#thesand #thesand2015 #horror2015 #horrorreview

Nige Sez

Always wanting to mix things up a bit, every now and again we'll get a "Nige Sez" comment from Hot Radio 102.8 DJ and the man who can eat the pasta faster than a rasta - Nigel Rouine.

Check out his reaction to Green Inferno - Here 

Nigel hosts the Saturday show on Hot Radio 102.8 - visit his Twitter @Niggles66

(Honourable Mention) Bone Tomahawk (2015)

I'm not going to give this a review properly, because no matter how you spin it, it's just not a horror film.

It is however an excellent Western - that just happens to have cannibals in it at the end. The rest of the film is great, don't get me wrong I really enjoyed it. Yet it is not a horror.

Although - it does contain some of the most gruesome and graphic gore that even this seasoned veteran of the sick had to have a little wince - a man being hacked in half from the groin and Kurt Russell being cut open and having a red hot hip flask inserted into him - top stuff.

No masks for review as it's not a horror, but as a movie it's up there in the high rankers.

Howl (2015)

One thing our American cousins do better is the Hollywood Blockbuster - and we Brits have the corner on quirky character based comedy - relatable situations etc.

Every now and again we have a go at transporting one into the other and sometimes it even pays off - albeit usually under the radar (Dog House, Severance, anyone?)

Howl comes from this school of a very British movie, a group of people who would normally not speak to each other are thrown together on a broken down train - Howl has the recipe for a heartfelt "getting to know you" movie but hey, chuck a few werewolves in there and we're talking business.

Tense and creepy with typical satirical humour, mocking social observations and the odd bit of being ripped to shreds by a howling lycanthrope - score.

Not one you'd watch over and over but one you need to watch.

6/10 Masks

The Final Girls (2015)

Not to be confused with "The Final Girl" that came out earlier this year.

Malin Akerman and Tassia Farmiga (American Horror Story) star in this Last Action Hero meets Friday The 13th comedy slasher.

Akerman plays an actress who is struggling to find work because all people remember her for is an 80s slasher called Camp Bloodbath.

After dying in a car crash her daughter (Farmiga) goes to a showing of the movie at a theatre and by some strange events herself and some friends end up being transported in to the film.

Well aware that's exactly what has happened they decide to see if they can change the events, including taking the dead mother with them when they go home.

Brilliant for a film with a budget, The Final Girls lampoons the slasher genre perfectly as two worlds collide. Technically not a horror or a slasher but a comedy it's not without it's gruesome moments and unexpected gory deaths.

I'm wondering if in the same vein as "Headless" that "Camp Bloodbath" might get it's own film, time will tell.

This flick was a great concept and a great ride. Bang on.

8/10 Masks

The Green Inferno (2015)

The wait is finally over - Eli Roth's much anticipated and delayed cannibal film The Green Inferno is finally out and was it worth the wait? Yeah I think so.

Green Inferno has been whispered about since it's planned release in 2013 and since then we've seen stills and trailers but not much about the actual film, other than knowing it's a cannibal flick.

This is a modern take and/or throwback to the awesome Cannibal Holocaust and perhaps a one-up on it's loose remake Welcome To The Jungle.

A group of activists travel to Peru to protest the bulldozing of a piece of rain forest that is home to a primitive tribe. Their protest goes to plan but on their way home they fall prey to a plane crash which lands them in the middle of the afore mentioned tribes people, who just happen to not be that appreciative of the support, but are happy for the nice juicy human flesh.

There are the expected fair shares of gruesome body hacking, slashing and devouring but The Green Inferno is not a movie that relies purely on shock tactics (although we do get the obligatory "body impaled on a stick") - we have a plot, we have a cast with character and we have some brutal twists and turns.

Green Inferno is hands down one of the best out there in this little-covered genre, extra points for making it a straight forward movie instead of falling prey to what could have easily been another "found footage" romp.

Worth the wait? Yes. Worth the hype? Yes.

9/10 Masks

"You're sick! I got to the bit where they eat the first guy, felt nauseous and couldn't watch any more!"

Circle (2015)

I'm a huge fan of movies like this - dark, all set in one room, tense.

A group of strangers find themselves in a room, where they cannot leave, cannot move and someone gets killed once every few minutes.

In trying to find out why they realise that they have the power to chose who dies next, but only one person can be left standing.

Can't say too much more, it's a builder, it's subtle, it's great.

7/10 Masks

Deathgasm (2015)

Wow - been looking forward to this one for a while now and it certainly didn't let me down!

Deathgasm - an odd metal kid moves in with his Christian aunt and uncle and shocks them with his satanic music and look.

After meeting a fellow metalhead at a record store they form a band and go on a hunt for a reclusive washed up metal star - after finding him in possession of some odd sheet music they use it for their band and all hell breaks lose - literally.

Unleashing satanic power the town transforms into flesh eating monsters - complete with a heavy metal soundtrack and some mild nudity.

Awesome.

Much like the classic metal movies such as Trick or Treat, Deathgasm is an instant cult classic.

9/10 Masks

The Vatican Tapes (2015)

Ever seen a movie about possession and/or exorcism?

Then you've already seen everything about this film shot in a different way - apart from maybe the end which leans towards The Omen and a sequel.

Its almost like there was no script, they just used bit of other scripts.

nicely packaged, no contents.

2/10 Masks

Knock Knock (2015)

Keanu Reeves is like Marmite - you love him or hate him Much has been said in recent years about how his acting is basically just a plank of wood, and yeah, he's not got the greatest range but he is Keanu Reeves and for me, that's enough.

Don't see too much of him these days and now he's popped up in this home invasion thriller "Knock Knock".

What can I say about it - all home invasion films kind of follow the same theme right? This one doesn't deviate from the norm. Eli Roth once again sits in the directors chair and wonders when he will get a day off.

Keanu plays an architect who's artist wife and kids have gone away for the weekend - a knock on the door reveals two girls who are helped at first before things take a turn for the less clothed and then the torture begins.

Nothing new to see here but the Roth/Reeves combo makes it a film that works - and even keep you on the edge of guessing. Worth a watch.

6/10 Masks

I Spit On Your Grave 3 : Vengeance Is Mine (2015)

In 1978 Day Of The Woman (Re-Titled as I Spit On Your Grave) was released and shocked the world with it's depictions of violent gang rape and subsequent harsh revenge. Banned all over and all but lost to the video nasties archive before the digital age.

Come 2010 and they re-made it. The shock element had long gone to more violent and unwatchable modern classics and it was generally considered a bit pointless.

However this didn't stop a part 2 and now a part 3.

Part 3 continues from the 2010, 1st version - Jennifer our heroine is still haunted by her experience and attending group therapy for rape victims. Into the mix comes an off the handle rock chick who convinces her to take Boondock Saints style revenge of sex pests all over city. When said rock chick seemingly gets offed by her ex-boyfriend, Jennifer exacts her dead friends wishes - putting herself on the most wanted list and hunted by the police in the process.

Honestly there isn't much to this movie. We can surmise that there might have been intentions to make an underlying point about victims of abuse and girl power but it didn't shine through.

However, we do get some fantastic cringe-worthy gore including bite-and-knife fellatio and a steel pipe up the jacksy. Sadly that's about the only thing that makes it worth sitting through.

Not a waste of time but not a good chapter in a great legacy.

4/10 Masks

Pay The Ghost (2015)

To start with I was impressed as it's not too often these days that you see a "big budget" horror that's not found footage.

Nicholas Cage and that lass out of Walking Dead/Prison Break star in this colour-by-numbers horror about a child that vanishes on Halloween into a nether realm and their hunt for said kid along with other vanished youths.

Much like it's peers of the day (namely Insidious) it's a flick that starts off creepy and then has that effect that someone is stood next to you blowing a massive raspberry while flicking cheese at the screen.

Cage's over-acting is almost parody, the rest of the cast are almost stereotypes of themselves and the plot makes you want to poke both eyes out with a dog poo.

A mysterious woman who has the time to explain the whole plot to the couple searching for the kids, the sceptical police man, the vultures as spirits, the blind homeless man who leads Cage over a bridge into the netherworld.... everything has been done to death and the only original thing about this was the possessed kick bike.

The first 30 minutes or so dragged me in and then it was a bit like they changed directors from Eli Roth to a 15-year old girl.

Avoid.

3/10 Masks.

The Visit (2015)

In 1999 M.Night Shyamalan exploded onto the horror/thriller scene and into our hearts with the masterpiece that was the Sixth Sense. A film with one of the most shocking and unexpected twists since Darth Vader turned out to be Luke Skywalker's father or Michael Caine snogged Christopher Reeve - sadly though he never really managed to quite reach the standard again and in fact not only gave us some truly awful stinkers (Lady In The Water) but some complete let-downs of epic proportions (The Village).

However, the twist in M.Night Shyamalan's latest movie THE VISIT is...it doesn't suck.

So the premise - almost "found footage" as most is filmed through our two young star's camera as they are making a documentary. Two young children go to stay with their estranged grandparents in a remote part of the country while their mother goes on holiday for some catching up on her missed youth.

The stay is staggered and jumpy but takes a turn down surreal alley when the grandmother starts leaving her bed at night to exhibit odd behaviours round the house such as running up and down and clawing at the wall while naked.

The grandfather explains that this is a medical condition similar to sleepwalking and appears to be the steady rock until it's revealed that he cannot control his bowels and stores his soiled adult nappies in a big pile in his shed. A little later our children catch him resting his shotgun in his mouth before changing position and sheepishly explaining that he was only cleaning it.

The behaviours get stranger and stranger and the children start to document it all. Something is certainly not right with the old couple and the night time wanderings are just the start.

So now we get to "the twist" - of course I'm not going to tell you what it is here, but being an M.Night Shyamalan movie you will, as I was, be guessing what it might be from the start, and much like The Village I managed to figure it out in about 15 minutes - so the rest of the film was just to wait to see if I was right.

Our characters in The Visit are played greatly, and Shyamalan has seemed to return to his stripped down basics of a film which puts you right in the middle of the action. Plenty of jump-scares ensue and a who pile of moments where you'll actually be puzzled and shocked at what is happening as The Visit turns into surreal thriller and you're never 100% sure which path it might take next.

Creepy and minimalist - a return to form.

7/10 Skulls.

Cooties (2015)

Cooties completes our horror-comedy double feature this evening. One look at the picture (or the trailer) will confirm that this film has a cast to die for.

Rainn Wilson, Hugo from Lost, Napoleon Dynamite, Scott Pilgrim's drummer, that bloke out of Scream Queens and of course Frodo Baggins.

A rouge virus infects the chickens that are made into school meals and turns a group of school kids into insane flesh-eating zombies where the only people left standing are the teachers who have to defend themselves against the pint-sized terrors.

It's not the greatest film ever made but when you've got that level of comedy faces on one screen you just know that it's going to be a good ride. A cheap one, but a good one.

There are all sorts of running gags including pokes at the casts other films (Rainn Wilson calling Elijah Wood a Hobbit made milk come out my nose) a so-cliche-its-funny love triangle story, the obligatory stoner complete with imaginary animal friends and of course a bunch of zombie-kids running about ripping everyone's limbs off like a bargain bucket.

Mark this one up as "Sunday Afternoon Viewing" and enjoy it for the straight-to-video (literally) B-Movie it is.

8/10 Masks

Teen Lust (2014)

Part 1 of my comedy-horror double feature today is Canadian flick Teen Lust.

OK, lets set the story - a high school guy needs to lose his virginity, he gets into all sorts of adventure trying while his parents try to stop him because for him it's life or death.

We've seen that story before right? OK but what if I told you that his parents were members of a satanic cult and need to sacrifice a virgin to raise the devil and bring about the end times!

Turns it all on it's head and this original take on the teen high school comedy is a pure charm.

Carere and Sabara as the hero and hero's annoying voice of not-so-much-reason best friend make an amazing double act as they try to find something to have sex with while members of the cult are in hot pursuit messing it up for them at every turn.

True Blood star Kristin Bauer van Straten and Cary Elwes (best known for The Princess Bride) play the squabbling leaders of the cult with Elwes almost turning into Terry Gilliam in places.

The movie does it's best also to reference a lot of the popular teen flicks of the 70s and 80s - you'll spot them if you look hard!

Great laughs - not so heavy on the horror but for a piece of satanic-themed coming of age comedy it's all you need.

8/10 Masks

Some Kind Of Hate (2015)

Ex-Teen idol Grace Phillips stars in this tale of revenge from beyond the grave that I can only describe as sort of like the "not the best" album from a band that you really like.

It's dark and lo-fi and kicks off with a close-up of an Arik Roper poster which is cool.

A troubled teen gets sent off to some sort of new-age camp for naughty kids where he is picked on by a gang of bullies. Summoning the restless spirit of a girl that killed herself on the camp some years previous (because of bullies) she sets about picking off the not-so-happy-campers one at a time.

It's got all the grit of a great horror combined with lots of jump scares and blood splatters.

However, it just fails to completely cut the mustard with its ghostly razor blade - probably as you've seen most of it before elsewhere and secondly there is not enough of a hook-line to catch you. If they'd added another element to this, even a gimmick it might have stood out more.

Still worth a watch however and certainly the springboard for Grace Phillips to move away from her Disney paddock.

6/10 Masks.

Area 51 (2015)

Unsurprisingly the general public of this mostly negative - and you can quite clearly see why.

The unimaginative title is where it starts and we follow this up with the hated "found footage" genre of a bunch of kids breaking into Area 51. The locals tell them horror stories of government cover ups and guess what?

Really this film could be made up of clips cut from any of the billion films covering the same subject that you've seen time and time again.

However....I personally enjoyed this one quite a lot, despite the plot probably being written on the back of a cornflakes packet it carried a certain charm. It's 100% nothing that you haven't already seen but that just seemed to cover all the bases.

I guess I'm also a sucker for the whole Area 51 conspiracy. With some suitably tense moments and actually a few surprises you maybe won't enjoy this as much as I did but I'd not consign it to the bargain bin just yet..

6/10 Masks.

The Harvest (2015)

Again a movie that I'd loathe to call a "horror" per se but certain was creepy as hell and sure, if I struggled to find a category for it then why not.

On the surface this one didn't seem to interest me very much but once I'd started watching it did a great job of dragging me in and holding me there.

The Harvest is dark and strange - the story follows a boy who after an accident is house-bound and cared for by his parents. Who in themselves seem very odd and tense, especially when a new young female neighbour oversteps the boundaries of their self-imposed isolation.

As the film develops you start to become aware that certainly something is wrong and off about the whole situation - it appears to be that the mother is keeping him in some sort of Munchausen By Proxy deal, but without revealing too much, it's much worse.

Acted fantastically, set perfectly and 100% one to watch.

7/10 Masks

Jurassic Prey (2015)

Right - look at the picture above. Imagine that animated stop motion in a way so bad that it's not even good, it's just bad. Now cut that in with images of what looks like a sock puppet or a rubber kids toy - ok? That's the film's climax. There, I just saved you 90 mins of your life.

Look at the DVD cover:

Now look at the actual film:

No one in their right mind would even want to make, be in or watch this movie. Not even as a joke. There's some sort of a plot too but whatever it is cannot excuse this steaming pile of a film.


ZERO/10 MASKS! And that's being generous.