The Other Side Of The Door (2016)

Remember that episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon is dismayed at how Gremlins had only two rules that were both not followed thus leading to the cast deserving everything that they got?

Well, The Other Side Of The Door is like that, but with half as many rules.

Sarah Wayne "that-one-out-of-walking-dead" Callies (who for some reason is living in India) has recently lost her son in a car accident where she was forced to chose between saving her son (fail!) or her daughter (sexist!). She's all upset and guilty n'stuff to the point of trying to take her own live...again another fail.

She has this wise old Indian housekeeper (slave owner too!) that tells her about an old temple in her home village where there is a door to "the other side". Not sure how the contractors built that in but there we go.

At this door you can talk to your dead loved ones through it. BUT...you must NEVER open it. Guess what ol' Prison-Break-Face does?

Kiddy comes back all spooky n'stuff, there is a nuddy man speaking gibberish and things die all over the place.

Not scary really, a wee bit creepy but for the most part just stupid. Do not open the door!! You had one rule!

Door Supervisor - Phil Tippett.

1/10 Masks

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

About ten years ago I bought the very cheap DVD in the sales, "Tomb Raider 2" - The review/blurb on the cover had only one magazine quote; "Better Than The First One".

...and that's where we are with The Conjuring 2. It's better than the first one. If we remember The Conjuring, it was one of those horror films in the vein of the Hollywood blockbusters of the time, Insidious etc. It fell flat and was a bit poo and spawned the spin-off "Annabelle", which was also poo.

What it did have was a basis in "reality" with the introduction of Ed and Lorraine Warren - the real life Scooby Gang who's most famous "case" was perhaps The Amityville haunting.

The Conjuring 2 focuses on British soil with the case of the Enfield Poltergeist, a real life case in the 70s which had some great photos and footage come from it and a lot of speculation surrounding it. Eventually dismissed as a hoax TC2 makes light of this and of course puts it's own spooky spin on it.

The previous home owner seems to be taking control of one of the children, we have things being thrown about, children flying, possessed voices and of course apparitions. 

We've got our usual jump-scares (one did make me jump like a small child) and much like the best horror movies of the day we've got a bunch of news stories such as a man dying then vanishing after watching TC2 and a woman getting possesed in the cinema.

Back in reality however what we've got it quite a solid spooky film that while it works stood alone also expands on The Warrens, should you wish to get a deeper meaning from it. It dares to break away from our standard "Horror-Wood" mold (no Lin Shaye!) and could see a turning point for semi-decent big budget horror.

8/10 Masks

Before I Wake (2016)

Well.... After the trailer that happened sometime last year I have been looking forward to this one as it looked awesome! The verdict? Dude seriously! Horror films should NOT have a happy ending or try to carry some sort of message - they should be pure gore and scare. Full stop.

So the concept. Amazing. Kate Bosworth and (back with a vengeance at the moment for some reason) Thomas Jane are a couple that lost their child (another common theme with horror at the moment) and adopt a young boy, Cody.

Cody is obviously an oddball - he never sleeps. When he does he dreams and the dreams come true - like really true at the time when he's dreaming them. We have a bunch of fairy-light butterflies flapping about and that sort of stuff. It's sweet.

However his nightmares come true as well. Including his personal demon "The Kanker Man" who...is scary as hell and eats people. After a few nightmares The Kanker Man actually eats the locals..nom nom nom.

With the couple missing their son, they realise that if they get Cody to dream about him, he returns for a brief period. This little trick by the way, has been tried and tested with Cody's previous foster parents. But when they get the nice, they get the nasty - including, you guessed it - The Kanker Man.

So this is the premise. It's great and we have some awesome creepy bits. As Cody can only dream up what he's seen and as he's quite young there are some awesome bits such as a dead wife from his imagination, with a spooky fixed-smile doll face. A woman gouging eyes out of a child etc.

However - the plot goes into the area of......lame!

There's a reason for The Kanker Man, there's a reason for everything, and when we get to the end and it tries to go into happy-ending mode, turn off. This ruins the whole movie, last 20mins should literally be fed to The Kanker Man.

Great concept, ruined by the Hollywood style ending.

6/10 Masks.

Hush (2016)

Straight to Netflix is the new "straight to video" - however, since the TV shows Netflix puts on are pretty good it doesn't always mean a direct drop in quality.

Hush is one of those films that has just about enough in it to be interesting. The home invasion concept is something that we've seen a lot of and the premise is a good solid base to work on.

Maddie is an author that lives in relative isolation - she lost her hearing in her youth and has been totally deaf since then. One evening her friendly neighbour comes to visit and is promply hacked to bits by a masked psycho on her way home.

The home invasion then starts with our masked man realising that he's picked on a deaf victim so is able to perform some creepy stuff such as taking her phone and sending photos from it to her home computer. Also he can sneak around. This potential for suspense however is quickly dispersed when our invader reveals himself.

What then follows is your bog-standard cat and mouse routine with not a lot of excitement or unexpected happenings.

There's another death but that's it and it all comes to a rather dull and predictable end.

If you're looking for something to fill your time while washing up then this is fine, it's not terrible it's just that the novelty runs dry very quickly and then we're just left with the sort of thing that we've seen many times before.

4/10 Masks